Son: Daddy, why is our grandma running about the field and shouting?
Father: For you she is grandma, while for me she is mother-in-law.
Give me some more bullets to recharge the gun…
For those of you guys and gals who never went to a Boarding School, you will never know how much fun you missed out on. It is simply indescribable. In there, you are sure to go through virtually All Stages of Life.
Just ask a typical Boarder and he or she will surely “lecture” you about Real Life.
A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, “What size condoms?” The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, “One box of large condoms, Register 5.”
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, “One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.”
A few customers back was this teenage boy.
He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze
then picked up the intercom and said…
(you’ll love this one)
“Cleanup, Register 5”
The Nigerian Film Industry has surely got some stars – real good actors and actresses who are well known for specific characters.
One of them is Kanayo O. Kanayo. Well, he is known for acting some creepy characters as you can see in the Photo Speak above.
Enjoy your Sunday, friends.
In a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just so happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter.
He decided to offer the businessman a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that we would only wipe out the debt if he could marry the businessman’s daughter. Needless to say, this proposal was met with a look of disgust.
The loan-shark said that he would place two pebbles into a bag, one white and one black.
The daughter would then have to reach into the bag and pick out a pebble. If it was black, the debt would be wiped, but the loan-shark would then marry her. If it was white, the debt would also be wiped, but the daughter wouldn’t have to marry the loan-shark.
Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the businessman’s garden, the loan-shark bent over and picked up two pebbles. Whilst he was picking them up, the daughter noticed that he’d picked up two black pebbles and placed them both into the bag.
He then asked the daughter to reach into the bag and pick one.
The daughter naturally had three choices as to what she could have done:
She drew out a pebble from the bag, and before looking at it ‘accidentally’ dropped it into the midst of the other pebbles. She said to the loan-shark;
“Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”
The pebble left in the bag is obviously black, and seeing as the loan-shark didn’t want to be exposed, he had to play along as if the pebble the daughter dropped was white, and clear her father’s debt.
May God Almighty Grant Us Wisdom To Overcome Every Trap of the Enemy in our Lives. Amen.
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.
About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! Just five minutes later, he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, tore all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!”
The doctor replied, “I’m so sorry about that. We didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages you may have incurred.”
“Don’t bother yourself, Doc.,” she says,
“It’s okay. We were quite happy to pay for the damages promptly. We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway. It is high time we did some damages to our bedroom”
Well for sometime now, we have not heard any clarifications concerning the NYSC “Exemption Certificate” in possession of no other person than the Nigerian Minister of Finance, Kemi Adeosun.
People (including yours truly) are beginning to wonder if the NYSC and even possibly, the Premium Times have been “Exempted” from further speaking and writing on the issue.
The “deafening silence” of the Presidency as a whole on the issue is surely “Transmitting some suggestions of Commissions or and Omissions” in this case of national importance. We are already afraid to talk about “one other person’s” (no names mentioned O!) WAEC Certificate for now.
The Ministry of Finance is surely not one to be toyed with by any country that wishes to have progress in its developmental strides.
Please help share this post so as to let the government know that Nigerians are no longer ready to be taken for granted and are not fools.
That is how to start letting our government know that it is no longer “business as usual” and Nigerians are now ready to take their fate into their own hands come 2019.
Share now and click like if you believe in this.
Thanks in advance for taking the right decision.
There some questions that you normally would not think about.
But then, that is you.
There are people out there who would ponder over every bit of issue and seek answers to questions surrounding them.
One of such questions popped up recently and I bet you will not only get surprised by the question itself but also the answer that followed it.
Okay, here we go.
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
That question above is one that is frequently asked in my corner of this globe. It is one question that is also taken for granted by lots of people (both the“askers” and the “askeeS” alike).
I did not really think much about that until recently when I accidentally ran into two friends who were discussing in Pidgin English.
One of the two on suddenly realizing that time seems to be far spent, decided to ask the other friend what time it is and here is what transpired:
Friend One: Abeg, how many O’Clock for your watch now?
Friend Two (realizing that his wrist-watch had suddenly stopped working):
Omo, na many O’Clock O!
Friends, Isn’t Pidgin English a wonderful language?
If you are a Nigerian living in the country as at the time of my writing this post, I am quite sure you know that right now in this country, “Things Didn’t Easy”.
Except of course, if you are living in Aso Rock or well related to the inhabitants of that “Demonic Enclave”.
This is the right time for the true citizens to take a position before it is too late. Many people have suggested different “solutions” to the situation we have found ourselves in, as is usual with us.
Well for now, the solution that I think we should start with is the one you see below produced by a citizen who I am sure is one of those that have not yet been “transmitted into confuscus” as planned by the country’s enemies.
This is surely a good starting point.
See for yourself.
If you truly love this country, you will share this message with like minds until it gets to as many compatriots as possible.
God bless the artist that produced this cartoon.
God bless you as you spread this message of redemption.
God save Nigeria from the demons at work against it.
May the Almighty God protect you and your family members in these difficult times.
Please say a simple “Amen” to this prayer.